Here’s a Valentine’s Day question for you. Have you ever been on a date with yourself?
Many years ago, I read The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron. It guides you through a series of exercises and explorations to help you loosen up and discover your artistic self. I remember at the time (I was much younger), I thought it was a little too religious for me. And when I say religious, it was probably that she mentioned God a few times. Now looking back, I believe it was more about spirituality and creativity.
However, I do remember one of the exercises was taking yourself on an artist’s date once a week. It could be visiting an art gallery or museum, wandering around an art supply store, or seeing a foreign film, whatever tickles your fancy. The only condition was you had to do it alone. It was taking yourself on a date.
I thought about doing it, but never got around to it. Back then, it seemed a bit daunting and quite frankly uncomfortable to do something so intentional. I’ve gone to coffee shops on my own, mainly to work, my nose in my laptop the whole time. Or, I’ve had a quick lunch by myself at a food court or a cafeteria style eatery, but never at a fancy restaurant. I’ve even had dinner by myself, but on out-of-town business trips. That’s different. I’ve never done it on my own at home. It’s more fun and definitely more comfortable to go with a friend or significant other.
Now that I’m on my own, and soon to be an empty nester when my daughter heads off to school in the Fall, I feel like taking myself on a date is something I should do. And, not just popping in somewhere on my way to meet up with someone else, or on my way home. But, intentionally spending a day out and about enjoying my own company doing something that fills me up.
I do a lot of solo walks in the woods, well, actually I’m usually with my dog. That seems quite natural.

A walk in the woods with Oliver
I spend a lot of time by myself, and most of the time, I enjoy it or at the very least, I don’t mind it. Since Covid, I seriously think I could easily become a hermit. On the other hand, to take myself on a date to a public place like a restaurant would not be a natural thing for me to do. Let’s face it, the world revolves around couples. I think it would be a little scary, a lot uncomfortable, but oh so liberating, all at the same time.
I’m putting it on my To Do List for this year. I’ll wait for warmer weather, protest free streets, and the settling down of omicron. But, I’m confident it will happen this summer. I was about to say, “Anyone care to join me?” lol. Seriously though, shouldn’t we be our own best friend? After all, who do we spend the most time with? So, a best friend should treat herself to some quality time together.
Tell me in the comments if you’ve ever been on a date with yourself. What did you do and where did you go?
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Until next time,
~ Colleen

I’m a recovering Chartered Accountant and Breast Cancer Champion turned Fashion Designer. My COKANNA Canadian-made bamboo clothing is all about comfort and style. Giving back to the community is important to me so I support Rethink Breast Cancer‘s metastatic breast cancer education, support, and advocacy work.
I have a weekly date with myself at my art studio. although private versus public, this has been an essential choice during the last 18 mos. in the past I have frequently hung out in a favorite coffee shop to read and journal and on one occasion I spent a week in London, England visiting museums, wandering through parks and going to theatre. This was an amazing experience as I had no one to confer with regarding my choices. So I support the idea fully and look forward to a few self-dates when the COVID restrictions lift. See you out there.
Betty, I love that you have dates with yourself in your art studio. I hope you’ll soon have the opportunity to have dates outside of your studio too. I look forward to my dates. Happy Valentine’s Day!
So funny. You’re so leery about the experience that you are procrastinating until summer. I’ve been doing it for 40 years: tired of waiting for people to feel like going out, or we have to go where the other person wants to go, or they don’t want to spend too much, or they have different culinary tastes… the list goes on. I accommodate people but it’s so good to have that occasional outing where I do what I want, when I want it. It’s like pressing the Reset button before going back to solving other people’s problems… mother, wife, daughter, friend, relative, assistant, colleague… everybody’s nibbling at our energy.
It’s not the same as a walk in the woods where you don’t have to interact with anyone. When you dine out alone or travel alone, people relate to you differently, much more open and interactive, not guarded because there’s another party showing signs of impatience. The stereotype is in our favour, you need only smile at someone for them to want to engage. Don’t wait until summer: there’s less pressure right now since you can’t fully interact because of the social distancing in restaurants, it will give you a chance to ease into the new lifestyle while hiding behind a mask. By the time summer rolls in, you’ll wonder why you ever hesitated and you’ll delight at people-watching from a patio.
PS: Keep your mask on until you are seated. Put it back on before getting up. Don’t suck your fingers. Enjoy your solo outings!
Hi Diane, You called me out! I am procrastinating! I like how you describe it as pressing the reset button. Being more of an introvert, a walk in the woods is definitely more my style. I have travelled to faraway places on my own and it is much easier to meet people and very liberating. I’ll take your advice to heart and remember not to suck my fingers lol!